If Donald Trump were a sport, then probably that. Here in 2009 at the »Wrestling of the Billionaires« in Detroit.
Photo: AFP/Bill Pugliano
Since last week there has been the “Presidential Fitness Test” again in the United States, a kind of sporting inventory for elementary and middle school students. From the near future it will be: sit-ups, push-ups and pull-ups by decree. Oops, you could ask yourself, what’s going on?
Trump’s temperament fluctuations are nothing new – however, digital strikes with Russian defense ministers and the plan of a nuclear reactor on the moon are still in character. But sport?
A fitness test-writes the “Tagesspiegel”-“of all places by Donald Trump, the sports refusal”. And now a headline is going too far. What does sports refusal mean here? Golf is, at least theoretically, also an activity in which you have to move something. And if it is the attacked wrist.
With these frightening developments in the United States, one wonders of course ask whether such things could happen here – in Germany.
“For some, the return of the Presidential Fitness Tests shake painful memories,” the “New York Times” headlined one day after the announcement, including that of a “military sample exercise”. Such confusion can of course happen – the test has its origins in the Cold War.
While an entire generation of asthmatic third -graders trembles in the United States, pedagogical sources in the “taz” warn of supposed health promotion that “operated on and humiliated”.
A moment. So sports lessons could contain elements that traumatize children? The lessons in which you set up pubescent in a row and then have volleyball teams dial until any 14-year-old, in which a thyroid underactive is diagnosed in ten years, remains left?
With these frightening developments in the United States, one wonders of course ask whether such things could happen here – in Germany.
But Frank-Walter Steinmeier would not have to come up with similar thoughts on a hint of Sado-Masochist sports nostalgia-after all, the federal youth games already exist. Including certificate of participants. Not to mention the cooper test, in which you have to run as quickly as you can-or to broke the 500-meter track from the parallel class for twelve minutes.
Incidentally, the Cooper test is also an American invention from the Cold War. One could almost think that the educators of the 50s and 60s had to process any difficult trauma. But what exactly happened in the first half of the 20th century can no longer be fully understood these days.
In any case, one considers the return of the test to be a good idea – and that is the American Minister of Health Robert F. Kennedy Jr. It is also a lot at stake: When the test was introduced for the first time in the 1950s, the American people were on the best way to get limed, Kennedy said in an interview with Fox News. “The same thing happened in the Roman Empire shortly before its collapse.”
Yes, that already broods you. The “Presidential Fitness Test” comes 2000 years late for the Roman Empire, but does it come in time for the Americanum empire?
For example, the diplomatic strength of America cannot be built on the shoulders of his elementary school students – after all, they all grew up under Barack Obama’s inclusive sports programs and, consequently, were not traumatized. The confessed American elementary school students cannot even keep up with Russian sports students. And not just that.
Maybe the Presidential Fitness Test is not a mood of Trump at all, but an athletic call for help. This had to get by forever without character-forming sit-ups and the poor man must currently meet such sports cannons such as Vladimir Putin, in turn of former Leningrad judo city champions and twelve years in a row from the UN General Assembly as »Most Likely to Solved the pocket money “chewed”.
You can start sweating – before you even started sport. What if Putin suggests at possible upcoming meetings to go a round jogging together? What if he comes up with the idea of measuring himself in sit-ups? And in the event of counter -proposals, that Golf is not a real sport at all? The foreign policy consequences would be fatal.
What we need now is the “Presidential Fitness Test” – but for the president. A “Presidential Presidential Fitness Test”, so to speak. Because without him no fitter president. And without fit president of the safe collapse of America (and the rest of the western world).
It may be too late to bring Donald Trump to the Federal Youth Games’ certificate, but at least we have to try. And yes: could you have prevented that? Surely. But the voluntarily jogging Kamala Harris was simply not chosen. And now we have the salad-or the presidential sports refusal.