Trans prostitution: living with the double stigma

She drove with her first client straight to his holiday home in the Eifel. It looked like a hunter’s hut, Nikki remembers, rustic and cozy, lots of wood, natural colors. Of course she was nervous about going for a ride with a strange man and then being far away from the crowd. But she has put aside her concerns. “He was a little older, but very well-groomed and charming,” she says. He gave her the money right at the beginning, just as she had asked for, 150 euros for one hour. »We then had a really lovely time together.«

That was in 2021. Since then, Nikki, whose actual name is different, has been working as a sex worker. On a hot summer day she is sitting on the sofa in the rooms of the Cologne club Looks. She is wearing a short dark dress, tights, black boots. Looks is based in an inconspicuous house near the Heumarkt, between a gay bar and a sex cinema. The club primarily serves as a contact point for male prostitutes, young men who sleep with other men for money. It is now also aimed at trans prostitutes like Nikki. Looks employees look after several hundred clients every year. Nikki visits the club once or twice a week. She can contact the employees if she has any questions or problems and can exchange ideas with other sex workers. You can also get a warm lunch here. There are bowls with fruit, vegetables and small snacks on the table. Nikki quickly takes a sip of coffee and starts talking.

Three years ago she got into sex work through an acquaintance, at a time when she wanted to try out more sexually. She registers on online platforms such as kaufmich.de and Hunqz, through which interested parties can contact and book the escort of their choice directly. Before the first meeting, Nikki speaks to her clients over the phone about their wishes and expectations. “And of course I want to rule out the possibility that I’m dealing with a fake,” she says. But the holiday home in the Eifel was rather the exception: she prefers to receive her clients in her own apartment. “I feel safe there and can prepare well.” The atmosphere is also important to her: polished wine glasses on the table, flickering candles, sometimes she plays Bach on her piano.

But not all sex workers are as dignified as Nikki’s meetings. Each and every prostitute has their own story, says Sabine Reinke, head of Looks for more than 25 years. »For most of those who come to us, it’s initially about sheer survival. Many people go out to collect bottles, for example, and if they’re lucky, they find a client who will pay them a little money or with whom they can stay overnight.”

“For most of those who come to us, it’s initially about sheer survival.”

Sabine Reinke Head of Looks e. v.

Nikki finds it difficult to gain a foothold in the job market. “I was always given the feeling that as a trans person I was not suitable for the primary job market,” she says. She earns a few hundred euros a month from sex work and also receives a disability pension. She originally completed her training in mechanical engineering. But the job and the environment didn’t suit her; work in the factory quickly became too monotonous for her. “At some point I got tired of my life in Germany and wanted to see something different,” she says. In 2017 she goes to Mexico; her boyfriend’s father had a ranch there. She works in the fields of the 60-hectare property for three months.

In Mexico City she finally met a woman with whom she stayed for two and a half years. In order to finance her life, she sets up a beer stand on the market or takes over sound and lighting technology at trade fairs. “Little by little I realized that I was actually trans,” she says. “However, I couldn’t live it down and my life became very difficult there.” She tries to calm down and distract herself with opioids. Only when she is back in Germany does she come out to her family and friends. But she also needs time to come to terms with her trans identity. »I took loads of amphetamines and opiates. Even with therapy, it took me years to find my way out of there.”

Sex work can help male-male and transgender prostitutes to accept their own sexual orientation or identity – after all, they are desired by their clients for who they are. Since many also have regular customers who they have known for years, this also creates social bonds, as Sabine Reinke describes. “I enjoy the job, I get to know a lot of interesting men,” says Nikki. For some time now she has also had a sugar daddy, i.e. an ongoing relationship with a man who compensates her financially for it. “It has nothing to do with being in love, but he is still a very familiar person for me who is good for me.”

According to the Federal Statistical Office, a total of around 30,600 prostitutes were registered in Germany at the end of 2023. Around a fifth of them had German citizenship. Gender and sexual orientation are not specifically recorded in the statistics. In any case, the number of unreported cases is much higher. The people that social worker Sabine Reinke deals with rarely go to an authority to officially register as a sex worker. This has actually been mandatory since the introduction of the so-called Prostitute Protection Act in 2017.

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Registration also involves a consultation, usually at the local health department. In this conversation, those affected should be informed about topics such as illnesses, pregnancy and drug abuse, but also about their rights and other offers of help. They will then receive a registration certificate from the responsible public order office. But there is clear criticism: According to Sabine Reinke, the law ignores the needs of those affected.

»Most people go into business because they have no other way to earn money. Reporting to the authorities doesn’t help anyone.” In addition, sex workers would quickly become criminals, for example if a supposed john suddenly turns out to be a police officer who wants to check the registration certificate. This puts even more pressure on sex workers. Nikki is also not registered as a sex worker – she is too worried about drawing the attention of the authorities. “The police will be at the door afterwards and will search the house,” she fears.

In a recent study, the German Aid Aid (DAH) examined the situation and needs of sex workers in more detail. She identified four core problems that shape the lives of prostitutes: experiences of violence and the fear of violence, the precarious financial situation, psychological stress and the frequent lack of legality. From this, the DAH derives a series of recommendations that are intended to help improve the situation of sex workers. One of them: Strengthen counseling services, especially those that are aimed directly at trans women and migrant women and men. Reinke agrees. »There are exit programs in which participants have to promise in writing that they will not do anything during that time. But that doesn’t help. Those affected need good, low-threshold advice – not the moral pointing finger.«

Compared to female prostitutes, male-male and transgender prostitutes are significantly more stigmatized. Nikki experiences transphobic insults almost every day and is insulted on the street. She is visibly suffering from it. Last year she actually wanted to get her high school diploma in the field of health and social affairs. “It took three or four months, then I was bullied out of school.”

Both Nikki and Reinke are concerned about social and political developments. Reinke doesn’t see that society has become more open in recent years. As an example, she cites the ban on buying sex, which has been discussed again and again in Germany. According to the so-called Nordic model, it is not the prostitutes themselves who should be punished, but rather those who use sexual services. The European Parliament has repeatedly spoken out in favor of the Nordic model over the past year. “When it comes to the acceptance of sex work, we are currently experiencing a massive rollback,” states Reinke.

“I’ve been getting so much hate lately, right after Corona it wasn’t that bad,” says Nikki. The hatred she experiences has only increased in the past year or two. In the future, Nikki would like to get more involved and advise other queer people who have experienced violence, for example. »It is very important to me that being queer is no longer demonized and that tolerance in our society increases.«

And how does she imagine her own life? »I want to have a nice body, a man who loves me, and maybe travel a little more. Then I would actually be satisfied.«

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