Rare snowy landscape in front of the Dallas, Texas skyline
Foto: picture alliance / dpa | Larry W. Smith
I’ve been waiting a long time to start this column with the line “Greetings from snowy Texas.” And now the time has finally come. Greetings! It’s cold here. Not very much, just minus ten and that’s only been the case for two days, but the mood is apocalyptic. Texas is simply not made for subzero temperatures. Texas doesn’t even know what subzero temperatures are because the weather is measured in Fahrenheit: minus ten degrees is 14 Fahrenheit. The supermarkets are ridiculously empty, like they were at the height of Corona, although everyone should know, thanks to their weather app and also thanks to a phenomenon called experience, that the Texas weather will quickly heat up again: Starting tomorrow it will be plus 13 degrees, that’s a whole 55.4 Fahrenheit, and in these temperatures my neighbor is wearing shorts again (but at least with long socks and, most importantly, a synthetic hat).
Talke talks
News from the Far West: Jana Talke lives in Texas and writes about the American and Americanized way of life.
When temperatures in Texas reach zero degrees Celsius, the state shuts down. Schools and restaurants are closed, doctor’s appointments canceled, affairs ended. Nobody drives a car because winter tires are unknown and they are hardly spread. And no one goes on foot, even in warm temperatures. Everyone posts embarrassing photos of the one millimeter of snow in their garden, including me of course. As if I hadn’t spent half my life in Hamburg, with walks on the frozen Alster, with drunken slips in the strewn alleys of Christmas markets and with a proud collection of hats, scarves and gloves that I bought in Texas, where the average annual temperature is 20 degrees Celsius, never need it. People quickly get used to what is beautiful and also what is hot. Snowflakes seem like a rare commodity to me, who was born in Mother Russia with Valenki on my feet.
Every January, Texans prepare for the icy weather; The hashtag “Dallaska” is currently popular on social media channels in Dallas-Fort-Worth, where we live. The main items purchased or prepared are camping stoves, flashlights and bathtubs full of water. Three years ago there was a snowstorm that was, from a Northern European perspective, rather modest, but which caused massive power outages, burst pipes, frozen pools, a Texas senator (Ted Cruz) fleeing to Cancún and damage worth $195 billion (!). And not only because the infrastructure is not designed for low temperatures, but above all because Texas has an electricity grid that is independent of other states and is lagging behind.
Texas, which constantly and everywhere threatens to do a “Texit,” cannot even provide itself with decent electricity! And instead of improving the network, people are taught every winter: citizens are encouraged via SMS to use less electricity and not heat as much. Not many will listen to it. Just recently, an American friend told me her ultimate trick: Every time before she leaves the house, she straightens her clothes in the dryer so she never has to iron them! The Texan is not known for thrift or love for the environment. In return, Texit promises citizens: No taxes, no windmills, no liberals and – they copied this from us Germans – no speed limit! You just have to learn to drive in winter.
There is also something nice about the brief Texas state of emergency when there are no power outages and no pipes breaking. My daughter is thrilled when she sees the measly snow out the window. “When I was little,” I start, realizing how geriatric I sound, “in Russia, the snow came up to my knees, then it took weeks for it to thaw, everything was dirty and the snowball fights really hurt !” She looks incredulous. “And I had to go to school in the cold,” my husband chimes in. “But we had more heat without heat,” I add. However, my daughter will never experience that, because if Texas can do anything, it is cool the rooms to refrigerator temperature in 40 degree heat. There is always enough electricity for the air conditioning. By the way, that would be a good Texit slogan. And now I have to go, dear readers, in preparation for the secession I would like to read “Fahrenheit 451” again!
Become a member of the nd.Genossenschaft!
Since January 1, 2022, the »nd« will be published as an independent left-wing newspaper owned by the staff and readers. Be there and support media diversity and visible left-wing positions as a cooperative member. Fill out the membership form now.
More information on www.dasnd.de/genossenschaft