Government crisis in Germany – This is democracy, it never gets boring

“This is democracy / It never gets boring,” the musician and singer Andreas Dorau already knew in the early 80s. And he’s right: there’s always something going on inside her. Some say this, others say that. First huh, then hott. While the desk clerk from one party argues for Pro, the business room soldier from the other party argues for Contra, while the third party from the third party is open-minded and flexible and his answer to the question of where he is moving argumentatively depends on the movements on his account.

An indispensable prerequisite for such a lively exchange of opinions is a so-called broad spectrum of opinions, and the programs of the various parties differ significantly from one another: some want to have refugees shot at the border, others want to deport them, and others want to train them to be slaves with no rights let. Democracy means diversity.

The multifunctional words “together”, “future” and “responsibility” are also often used, which as a modern democrat should always have at hand. But the main thing is to have “constructive discussions” and then come to a “sustainable compromise”. Therefore, the politicians of the elected parties exchange their values ​​and points of view with each other, which is not always easy for them because “politically, they are close to every television camera” (Wiglaf Droste).

Sometimes so-called expert hearings, confidential discussions, committee meetings, dialogue processes and fireside chats also take place. Not to forget the “citizen consultation hours” where the aim is to find out where “citizens are struggling”. And every now and then there are calls for human coexistence, while the blue-browns are laughing up their sleeves because they secretly don’t care about the whole democratic nonsense.

And in the end, the elected government decides in the interests of the military-industrial complex, the so-called employers’ association and the blue-browns. The “sustainable compromise” is that “necessary savings” in social and cultural areas are unavoidable and that highways urgently need to be built. This is democracy, it never gets boring. Even if the end result is usually the same, namely that people like me look at the mountains with a stovepipe.

Of course, some will now object: “Nonsense, it’s not like that! Democratic rule, especially that exercised by elected representatives, is considered the fairest form of government! The alternative would be an authoritarian dictatorship in which elections are either abolished entirely or are manipulated and in which the majority of the population has no say! Just look at the despicable rogue states in which such an inhumane social model is everyday life: Iran, Sudan, Belarus, Qatar, Saxony and so on!”

I would like to symbolically extend my hand to these enlightened, liberal people who consider so-called bourgeois democracy – compared to, say, the somewhat edgier and more woodcut-like North Korean model of democracy – a more progressive system. Because they are just as right as I am.

I would like to warn against misunderstanding the little paper I outlined at the beginning, which I would like to give the title “Democracy – simply explained,” as anti-democratic agitation. (To be honest, I have to admit that I generally like the idea that the majority of the population has nothing to say much more these days than I did a few years ago.)

And every now and then there are calls for human coexistence, while the blue-browns are laughing up their sleeves because they secretly don’t care about the whole democratic nonsense.

Rather, I am interested in slimming down democracy, so to speak, making it fit for the future, and turning it into the best of all possible worlds.

Because nothing lasts forever, especially not stunted forms of democracy. I am therefore advocating for a new variant of democracy that may at first glance seem experimental but promising, in which I and a committee made up of reliable political experts hand-picked by me take responsibility for this country. Don’t worry: At first we would only govern on a trial basis. We’ll get elected and confirmed in our offices later.

The well-known polymath Gerhard Polt outlined the enormous advantage and, if you like, the core of this radically de-bureaucratized form of democracy that I have in mind with the aphorism: “I don’t need any opposition because I’m already a democrat.”

I am not sure whether, for the sake of a better future, my innovative model of democracy should not even be tried out in this country. Together with my team, I am available at any time. One thing is certain: I opened a numbered account.