Football: FC Carl Zeiss Jena: Hope for the championship title

The glasses sound happy. Thuringia is celebrating, FC Carl Zeiss Jena is the leader in the Northeast Regional League, work was spontaneously stopped in Jena and the surrounding area, even Bodo R. interrupted his election campaign to indulge in idleness. The barren years are over, there is life again in East Germany’s green lungs. In search of unclear resources, the young Zeisski players found happiness on the Baltic Sea. And I, too, raged through the brash Greifswald last weekend, where we were able to find out before the game in the cathedral who would leave the pitch as the winner.

The Icelandic artist Ólafur Elíasson lets the windows in the Cathedral of St. Nikolai in Greifswald shine in blue, yellow and white, illustrating the land of the fisherman and his wife. In honor of FC Carl Zeiss and also a bit because of Caspar David Friedrich’s 250th birthday, they were recently inaugurated and have been announcing the 2024/2025 regional league champions ever since.

We cried bloody tears for five long years, now we are the hunters and gatherers of the championship trophy. We forget about searching and discover finding, we no longer become victims of ball work, but friends of success, said our clever kit manager (or something like that).

Like fresh butterjacks, the people of Jena snaked their way through the dull defensive heap of coastal residents, who were stock-still picking their noses because of wealth (they bought away our beloved captain and head of defense before the season) in their rubble-heaped stadium (next to the guest block there was a lousy hole instead of trusses), while we scored three goals undisturbed.

Hundreds of Jena residents celebrated diligently like wild gods and, of course, did not forget to insult the frighteningly small-minded Northeast German Football Association, which, in an inimitable manner, had postponed the domestic derby against the Red and Whites from the City of Evil from the weekend to the first Wednesday in September at 5 p.m. Many honest workers, fathers, hard-working apprentices and students are having their enjoyment of football spoiled by this slow kick-off time of the most important home game. The reason for the relocation is the election in Thuringia, which the NOFV of course did not have in mind when it negotiated a bad television contract with Ostsport TV, which brings all inmates of the regional league prison a whopping 8,000 euros. Not per game, throughout the entire season.

There is great indignation, we will fall into the flank of the NOFV, I can see in my crystal ball the new kick-off time: 7 p.m.

We have great times ahead of us, men and women, even if the wood chippers have already beaten up three of our beloved players and sent them to the hospital, this will make us even stronger. Do you want to bring the chalk cliffs and the island of Hiddensee to Jena or not? In the Middle Ages, flying women were roasted over a low flame by priests’ servants; today they sit in the cockpit and spit on the priests’ heads from above.