Libuše Jarcovjáková discovers in excess, in which solidarity on the edges is an unknown beauty and freedom.
Photo: Salzgeber Film
The waves of the Moldova, the back of a passerby in the coat in the snow, footprints in the mud, grid and concrete masonry, a hand that lies out of the dark between two curtains-with these black and white photos the film “I am not yet who I want to be” (Ještě Nejsem, Kým chci být). We see pictures and hear the voice of Libuše Jarcovjáková, which reads out of her diary records. The Czech photographer became world famous in 2019, at the age of 67, when the renowned French photo art festival Rencontres d’Arles dedicated a retrospective to her.
Klará Tasovskás Filmessay runs internationally under the title “I am not everything i want to be”. An interesting choice, this translation suggests a personality, human, scenic collecting and an incapacery of identity. In any case, the documentation shows the many years before this late success.
Jarcovjáková is born in Prague, both parents are painters, but only dad can do art, mother has to throw the household. She photographs Roma balls, that does not fit the parents, but for Jarcovjáková, however, every form of class thunder and discrimination against work. Since she is not from proletarian descendant, she, whose career is already as a teenager, is not given a place at the art college. Instead, she is looking for work in a printing company where a first series of photos succeeds: workers exuberant while celebrating and drinking, melancholic on machines. Snap shots that live living people who do not work in their work: paper jams and schnapps instead of heroic sacrifice for Czechoslovakia – shortly after the Prague spring. Jarcovjáková shows her pictures of the screenwriter Ester Krumbachová, who confirms her talent.
This is interested in the Czechoslovak secret service, his photos fall into his hands. The accusation is that she would disparage the working class, but could make up for this by the art of spiking. Jarcovjáková rejects, becomes depressed, eats against frustration. She marries a funny guy who already likes her quite well, but does not see that some want more of life than after -work beer and sex. Self -portraits arise that photograph their face, perhaps to make grief and anger somehow deductible.
A friend of Jarcovjáková is married to a Japanese, she can visit her for thousands of kilometers away from Prague. The husband, Katsu, is in a high position with an important fashion company and recognizes its administration. She also photographs in color, her pictures have a researching view of the foreign country, her compositions become more precise. But she stays longer than she should, back in the ČSSR, her passport is pulled in, the marriage is broken, the father still does not believe in her photography, whereas Katsu confirms that she confirms the real.
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Jarcovjáková becomes a Czech teacher for Vietnamese contract workers: exploited outsider, who portrays as a proud automotive owner, which is simply lied, but the men make someone else for the time of admission. In this work she meets Zdeněk, also a teacher, he admits that he is gay what the state has officially decriminalized, but gays and lesbians are still not protected against brutal harassment, for example by the police.
Now Jarcovjáková becomes the chronicler of the queer scene of Prague in the early 80s. In excess, she discovers unreasonable beauty and freedom in solidarity. For the first time she falls in love with a woman. When a murder happens near a popular club that is not cleared in the film, the police confiscate their pictures, which puts everyone who can be seen on it.
A gay friend conveys her a false husband so that she can leave West Berlin, where she photographs and cleans cinemas. But the West, the capitalist system does not like her, she doesn’t understand him and his people what drives them, how calculating they are, what they want. Her misfortune culminates in her friend Kerstin’s betrayal, who wants to use her to smuggle coke from Amsterdam to Berlin.
That “I am not yet, who I want to be” is as exciting as a feature film, is not only due to the lifestyle of the protagonist, but due to the thousands of negatives that are used, the cut rhythm, the very cautious use of overlays, music, so that atmospheres are generated, which convey a closeness and urgency that does not reach a slide show.
Libuše Jarcovjáková is enough with Berlin, she goes back to Japan – and has success there. Katsu helps her become a sought -after fashion photographer. But staged photography, the freedom of the industry, is a problem for it. She saves herself as an artist and leaves this success, this money behind her. After the fall of the Berlin Wall, she returns to Prague, finds her great love Magda and remains loyal to change. The film “I am not yet who I want to be” does not set her a nasty fan monument, but is an intense, excellently composed essay, which motivates you not to be prescribed when you see it.
“I am not yet who I want to be”: Czech Republic/Slovakia/Austria 2024. Director: Klará Tasková. Book: Klára Tasovská and Alexander Kashcheev. With: Libuše Jarcovjáková. 90 min. Start: 27.2.
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