Ezzes von Estis – Manna

Do you know what a miracle is too? A miracle is when the Almighty sends something or someone from heaven to earth. When the Almighty sends someone from earth to heaven, it is usually not a miracle. But on the other hand: When would a miracle be the norm?

In any case: God does indeed send someone or something to earth every now and then or even lets something rain from heaven every now and then. But unfortunately no brain. Even if the clouds sometimes look like brains and even if some have clouds instead of brains. But firstly, God does not let rain come from heaven, but only from clouds. Second, he doesn’t rain brains from heaven, and even if he did, those who need it most would be the least likely to know what to do with the brains that rain down on them.

So God doesn’t rain brains from heaven, nor money. But not only no money, but also no coal, no dough, no gravel, no moss, no gravel, no cash, no ocks, no pennies, no coins and not even mammon.

Ezzes von Was

Magnus Terhorst

Alexander Estis, a freelance Jew without a permanent address, writes so much schmontz in this column that it will make you sick to your stomach.

Mammon sounds almost like manna, which makes you think that God might occasionally rain some mammon from heaven. But on the other hand: Why should he – he doesn’t let manna rain down from heaven. But once it rains down from heaven, it would certainly taste better than mammon, because mammon only tastes good if you buy some of it, but manna cannot be bought. For the manna from heaven is a miracle. Only God can make manna. Or the Yiddish Mame, she can sometimes also make manna in a pot. And this manna tastes even better than the manna from heaven, for one reason, and that reason is: the manna from the pot is there, and the manna from heaven is not.

Instead, something else comes from heaven. Every now and then God sends snow down from the sky. And the snow is like the manna from heaven, only you can’t eat it. You can, but it doesn’t help. And there’s not much else you can do with the snow. But he is beautiful. He makes everything beautiful because he covers everything that is ugly. And that’s more than you can ask for from snow. The rain, for example, doesn’t cover anything. The rain just washes up trash and makes dirty mud. But the snow covers everything and still crackles. Until it melts; then there is also dirty mud. But then that’s no longer snow.

The fact that the snow covers everything that is ugly can be seen as the first miracle of snow. Then what would be the second miracle of snow? The second miracle of snow is: The snow doesn’t snow for anti-Semites. But he does it so skillfully that they don’t even notice how he doesn’t make snow for them. Someone has to do it first – and the snow can do it!

So did the Jews invent snow? It’s possible, after all, the Jews have already invented manna – except that manna doesn’t exist. One thing is certain: the Jews have White Christmas invented, even though they don’t even celebrate Christmas. It would be inappropriate, even presumptuous, for us to celebrate the birth of any Jewish child in this way. No, we’ll leave that to the others, please let them do it themselves so we can keep rubbing it in their faces.

And that brings us to the third miracle, because there always have to be three miracles, so it would be nothing short of a miracle if there were only two miracles. But the third miracle is: Every now and then God lets something else rain down from heaven, namely a Moshiach. Most of the time, however, a wrong one.

Alexander Estis will read on December 15th, 6 p.m. in the Theater Ost, Berlin (with Evgeniya Kleyn on the piano), on December 17th, 7 p.m. in the Theater der Junge Welt, Leipzig (solo reading with Mara Genschel and Michael Ebmeyer) and on January 9th. , 7.30 p.m. in the Theater im Palais, Berlin (Tucholsky texts).

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