The rabbis perform many miracles. And our Rabbi does even more than many.
Performing even a single miracle is actually impossible. How much more impossible it is to perform numerous miracles! But our Rabbi performs even more miracles than are already impossible to perform. And that in itself is an even greater miracle.
An even greater miracle, however, is that our Rabbi also performs many miracles without them even taking place. How does that work? Well, if a miracle doesn’t happen, but our rabbi does it anyway, then that’s probably even more wonderful, because it’s even more impossible, namely perfect.
Ezzes von Was
Magnus Terhorst
Alexander Estis, a freelance Jew without a permanent address, writes so much nonsense in this column that it will make you sick to your stomach.
However, there is an even greater miracle: our rabbi performs so many miracles that it would be an even greater miracle if he didn’t perform any. That’s why he performs miracles even when he doesn’t perform any – which, as I said, he could never do.
But I don’t expect anyone to understand this, I don’t expect it from anyone and even no one, because miracles cannot be understood at all. Miracles are completely incomprehensible. If you could understand them, they wouldn’t be miracles, so you should assume that you would understand the highest miracles the least, while you simply don’t understand the simple miracles. However, there are no simple miracles; every miracle is incomprehensible.
»Imagine, our rabbi was once attacked by a rabid dog! But our Rabbi turned the dog into a mouse, and the mouse scurried into the bushes.”
»Oy-oy! That’s nothing at all! Our rabbi was once attacked by a wild wolf! But our Rabbi turned him into a white dove, and the dove flew away.”
»Oy-oy! That’s nothing at all, both! Our Rabbi was once playing with a tame kitten… and the kitten wanted to scratch him! But our Rabbi turned the kitten into a huge lion, and the lion lay down tamely at his feet.”
You shouldn’t stick your nose into other people’s wonders. As I said, you don’t understand miracles anyway, but you understand even less a foreign miracle, even if it takes place under your nose.
So you shouldn’t stick your nose into other people’s wonders. After all, no one sticks their nose into other people’s wounds, except perhaps pretty much everyone. If you don’t actually do something, then it’s no wonder if everyone does it anyway.
It would be more of a miracle if everyone stuck their noses nowhere but where they belong. For example in a book. In a book that describes, for example, the miracles that occurred or that at least someone believed in or maybe even both – which would be a miracle.
Because it is already a miracle when miracles happen, but it is an even greater miracle when someone also believes in them. However, when it comes to a miracle, someone always has to believe in it, otherwise it’s not a real miracle.
»Our Rabbi performs miracles from Sunday to Friday!«
“Why should I believe that?”
“Are you meshugge, when else would he perform miracles – perhaps on Shabbos?”
Oh, I could talk for days about the miracles our Rabbi performs! But I’m not a miracle rabbi, so I can’t talk for days. The miracle rabbi, on the other hand, could talk for days, but then he would no longer be a miracle rabbi.
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