Ezzes from Estis: Golden Jojch – chicken soup

Once my friend Chaim was feeling terribly bad. First his wife left him, then his neighbor’s wife left him too (his wife because of the other one, and the other one simply took the opportunity). After that, Chaim felt really, really bad, but not terribly bad and certainly not completely terribly bad. But because he was feeling bad enough, he hung his head and just walked through the streets with his head bowed, even though he certainly wouldn’t have said “bowed head” but perhaps with a kop wi a shtejn (although he didn’t know the language anyway It would have been finesse, which is why he didn’t say anything, but just walked along with his head bowed).

That’s why it was no wonder that he was jostled by a rude guy and then also shouted at him, while he himself couldn’t say anything in return, but fell on the street and broke a rib right in the middle, which resulted in a total of two. Not that he had used the rib particularly often before, cared for it, paid attention to it, which does not rule out a certain parallelism with his wife; But now he suddenly felt sorry for her, the rib, as well as his wife. He also lost his wallet when he fell, which on the one hand didn’t have much money in it, but on the other hand it contained all the money he had.

Now Chaim was even worse. “If only I could swim in gold,” he groaned, “then I wouldn’t have any worries, or at least less, or I simply wouldn’t care about them!” Yes, he felt even worse now, but he only felt terribly bad when he Because he no longer had his own apartment, he locked himself in his brother’s house, lay on the bed and didn’t get up again, precisely because he was feeling terribly bad. He became emaciated, shrank and shriveled up, while his beard grew and his fingernails and his self-pity, all together, it seemed, draining his starving body of the last of its strength and juices in order to grow. And so Chaim would probably have been completely emaciated if Aunt Riwa hadn’t seen the nebbich, the poor bastard, during a visit.

So when she saw him withering away, she launched into an endless Oj oj oj oj oj and Oj wej, which one might have assumed was one spell – or even ten spells, because there were so many Ojs and There were so many Wejs, so many that they didn’t stop while she went out of the room, out of the apartment, out of the house, into the street, to the shochet, to Mordecai the butcher, and back again, in her hands a chicken, the chicken Esther, with whom she worked in the kitchen; and the moaning only ended when the fat eyes in the broth had reached the right size.

Chicken soup! It helps against everything, but not only that, it also helps always – provided someone cooks it. Of course you should always be healthy, and your mom and your tate and your grandma and your great tate and your seven sisters and your three cats, which aren’t yours at all – they should all always be healthy, and also your cousin, i.e. me. And they should have a little money too, not the cats, but the others, and your cousin especially. But that’s not the point now. So you should always be healthy, but if you are not so healthy, then there is chicken soup for you, but not simple, but golden, golden yojch with fat eyes like coins, but not simple, but also golden.

They say: Chicken soup is Jewish penicillin. But it is so much more than penicillin! You can cure diseases with penicillin. Good. But with chicken soup too. Jojch is gut fern bojch, chicken soup is good for the stomach, everyone knows that, that’s clear, but chicken soup is not only good for the stomach, but also for the intestines and the kidneys and the liver and even for the mole. Chicken soup not only helps, like penicillin, against external illnesses, but also against internal ones: against sore throats and heartaches, against poverty and against discontent, against insomnia and perplexity, against depression and repression, against the worst plague and against the worst mail, against the invasion of Bacteria and the Fall of Empires.

You go against all the laws of physics and all the laws of the mind with chicken soup. For example: Zores with jojch is gringer wi zores on jojch – Worries with chicken soup are easier than worries without chicken soup. Why? Well, that’s also clear: the oj is already in jojch, but it has been rendered harmless, it is embedded in the warm, soft, nutritious substance. That would almost bring us back to Chaim and his aunt, if there wasn’t so much more to say about chicken soup, like chicken soup is more than penicillin.

Because it not only helps against diseases like penicillin, but it also helps against hunger and thirst; and unlike penicillin, chicken soup is still warm. Of course, nothing would be warm if it didn’t taste good, because if it doesn’t taste good, it doesn’t get any better when it’s warm; But neither of these things can be said about the chicken soup because, firstly, it is warm and secondly, it also tastes good. And not just good, but how good!

Chicken broth helps everyone, even the last potz. It even helps mediocre scribblers when they write even worse than mediocre, namely not at all, which in the light of things could be better – even if they torture and torture and writhe over it, so that in the end they can write even less than they did before certainly couldn’t anymore; Chicken broth even helps them, because the poor scribblers forget to write over the chicken broth and even then don’t write anything again unless it’s about chicken broth.

And if you want to write about chicken broth, then you can hardly write anything other than the story of Chaim, whose aunt made him golden yojch and even brought it to him in bed. But when she put the pot down, it became clear that she had either made far too much soup because she had to get rid of all her Ojs and Wejs, or that Chaim had shrunk way too much because he didn’t have his Ojs and Wejs can get rid of. In any case, as Chaim tried to take a sip, he fell with all his skin and hair into the huge pot, possibly scalding himself a little, but instead becoming a nice, round, soft knejdel, so that all his worries suddenly became apparent lost all meaning at all.

So Chaim also found help, in an unexpected way, but thanks to a proven remedy – the golden yojch.