Documentary “In principle family” in the cinema – “No matter what dad or mom does: the child wants to go home”

Her film “In principle family” is about a residential group. What kind of family that portrays you portray?

The five boys and their educators basically live together like a family and go through thick and thin. You will experience everything that belongs – also read good night stories, settle arguments, comfort, comfort a child when it has tried to reach his mom, but she doesn’t go to the phone. Educators can be sampled, they are called Mrs. Wagner, Mr. Wagner and Mr. Gerecke, are not addressed with first names or “dad” or “mom”. In the film, an educator says: we don’t want to be a replacement parents. The parents remain the parents. But it is still a bit family -like.

Sometimes the educators also cuddle with the children, but can be sewer at the same time. Isn’t this balancing act difficult sometimes?

For everyone who works there, there is this near distance topic, even if they say: I shielded myself totally. It touches when a child moves out. I think it’s nice that it is so and that closeness is also allowed in the residential group. Because I think the children need that. In the film there is a scene in which a child says: “Ms. Wagner, you are now getting a cuddly attack.” And then it is cuddled. She allows that. Not all teachers do that. Some are also really rough, which is also beautiful. Everyone finds their own way and together form the whole range. That is actually like a family.

At the premiere at the Dok Leipzig festival, Ms. Wagner told how her daughter reacted to the fact that she got this job. She asked: “Then the children say mom to you?” When the mother said: “No, they say” Ms. Wagner “, it was okay for the daughter.

Interview

Jonas Ludwig Walter

Daniel Abma was born in the Netherlands in 1978, studied primary school pedagogy and later film director at the Film University Babelsberg Konrad Wolf in Potsdam. He first worked as a media educator in Berlin and Brandenburg. Since 2017 he has been working as a lecturer for documentary film at the Film University Babelsberg Konrad Wolf. In his documentary films – after Wriezen (2012), “Transit Havana” (2016), “Autobahn” (2019) – he deals with social issues. His current documentary “In principle family” celebrated premiere at the Dok Leipzig festival at the end of October 2024 and won the ver.di award for solidarity, humanity and fairness.

For what reasons do the children live in the residential group?

That is very different. They are all children who have to wear a package. This can be because the parents give a lot of love, but are overwhelmed because of external circumstances. It may also be that a parent is in prison or have consumed substances during pregnancy and therefore the child has abnormalities. Basically, it is children who cannot live at home at the moment. The hope is that a kind of stabilization takes place in this residential group and that the children can go back to their parents after a certain time. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. What totally surprised me was this indispensable loyalty of the children to the parents – regardless of how challenging the situation is at home. No matter what dad or mom does: the child wants to go home. That totally touched me.

Such a residential group is an intimate space in which you usually have no insight from the outside. How did you come across the facility?

I made the film “to Wriezen” about young men who were released from custody twelve years ago. You got children during the filming, some of whom live in youth welfare institutions today. I saw a kind of circle through this specific case. That was one of the impulses for the film. I also got to know an employee of a youth welfare office at a panel event on “to Wriezen”. He gave me his business card and said: »Daniel, if you are looking for a new topic, you can call me and then we chat. Who knows, maybe it inspires you? ”I did that many years later. In the meantime he worked for a great carrier. For a day he led me through five different facilities, and in the end we were in this house by the lake. I was completely exhausted by the many impressions that day, but then we drove through the forest on this gravel path, suddenly the trees opened and we were in the middle of nature. There was something very exciting, there were great people and I was welcomed with open arms, although this is a closed facility. I asked a lot of questions and clicked it.

When did you decide to make a film there?

I have been visiting again and again since 2018. There are bungalows for parents on the site. From time to time I lived for a week and took part in everyday life. In the evening on the terrace, when the children were in bed, I spoke to the educators and learned a lot about their profession and their lives. This is how the idea for the film came about. So it was a very long research. At first I thought it was about the children. Then I slowly found: what interests me the most are the people who work there.

Nevertheless, the children also play an important role. That means: You also had to convince the parents. How was that?

It was nice. The parents were very open and interested. Many of them visited when I was there. I was like an intern and could easily make contacts. I always said that I was researching for a documentary film project. At that time it was still very open what would become of it. In the five years of research and preparation, we also clarified what role the parents play. Of course, they had to give their consent – just like the youth welfare office and the guardian. The whole system had to stand behind this film, otherwise we couldn’t have done it. That was sometimes challenging. The youth welfare office often came to a defense reaction, which I could understand. But we could make it clear that we don’t want to represent or denounce anyone. We just want to map reality. We show a touching and intimate insight into the work that happens there. All people are trying to give the best. Also the parents. They have taken the brave step and accepted help.

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How did you manage to build a relationship of trust that is necessary to get such intimate insights into everyday life?

Over the years I became like a part of the furniture. Ms. Wagner once said: The film team, these are uncleels and aunts for the children. They come to visit every now and then, that’s nice. And then they are gone for a while. It was the same. The children are always happy when a visit comes – and it became even more interesting with the camera team. Before we started filming, we did a media educational workshop in which you could also film and tried what the range is of a tonal deficiency and what the camera can see.

After the first rehearsal week, Ms. Wagner thought that nothing. The children were constantly turned up and looked into the camera and touched everything. But after a while there were other things that were more interesting. Then that was no longer an issue if the camera was also there with intimate moments.

Was there a risk that the children will reveal too much because they cannot estimate the consequences?

We established with the children that they could say “stop” if they didn’t want to be filmed. Once there was a scene that dealt with the future of a child. Of course it was anxious because it didn’t know how the conversation was going on. Ms. Wagner then talked to the boy and asked if he could imagine that we can film and afterwards decide whether we can use it. He got involved with it – and allowed it later. We tried to work transparently and at eye level. The children are minors. So it remains that we have a very great responsibility. The educators always thought and the psychologists who work on the premises were very involved – also in post -production. We showed and discussed a raw cut very early on. We really made ourselves naked at an early stage, but it was very helpful. For example, we had a scene in which a child was beaten together. We took that out to protect the child. In the case of an freak, we changed the voice so that the child no longer recognized himself afterwards. We also disagreed with a few things and were able to explain our point of view, that was a nice exchange.

“In principle family”, Germany 2024. Director: Daniel Abra, 91 min.