Circus-Bulaban circus Berlin: “I’m just a clown”

The clown is more than a mask, more than make -up, red nose and oversized shoes. He or she is a projection surface – for our failure, our longing, our defiance smile in the middle of the absurdities of life. The clown is on the edge of society and at the same time holds the mirror. She stumbles, falls, stands up again and makes humanity visible.

Between tragedy and comedy, control and loss of control, the clown figure is a counter -draft to efficiency, seriousness and perfection. She is timeless. Where other roles are clearly drawn, the clown remains ambiguous: an anarchist, a child, a witness. In times of the crisis and in moments of silence, the clown reminds us: vulnerability is not a lack, but a language. And laughter, especially about yourself, is an act of liberation.

“When I came to Berlin in 2016, I worked as a DJane, but quickly noticed that I was actually a clown.” This is how the 34-year-old Bouba Haidar begins her story. It is not a linear story, but rather a vertebrae from different stations that combine encounters, ideas and memories. A path that leads from the Bekaa Valley in Lebanon to Berlin’s backyards to a tripoli circus tent.

She moved something into the world of clowning, the physical theater, into the gimmick from mask and theatrics. “I’ve always had this energy in me, but only here did I recognize what it is and how I can channel her.” Bouba started to take part in workshops in Berlin, tried out and became part of the circus scene. Corona came just when she started to take root.

“I love this anarchic aspect that the clown knows no limits.”

Bouba Haidar

Clownin in the »Bulaban circus«

In the middle of or towards the end of the pandemic, in early 2020, Bouba traveled to Lebanon, actually only for two weeks. But it turned out differently. “I met a collective there. These were people who played with huge dolls on the street and organized a whole circus parade. These two weeks were like a dream, full of creation and movement. “

Back in Berlin, early 2021, came the idea to found the “Bulaban circus”. Bouba thought of her time in the Bekaa Valley: »There were always many children and young people who played outside on the street. We hung together, played with my dog, balanced on curbs like on circus devices and became friends. “She remembers:” People were often upset about the noise we were, we were just happy and had fun. And I asked myself: Why is there no place where we can play without disturbing someone? “

So the desire to found a circus matured with children, for children. When she told this idea to a friend, he said: “Let’s do this!” From that moment on everything took off.

Bouba started to network more intensely. She searched specifically for like -minded people, people who shared similar visions and experiences. Regular meetings developed from this, both in the presence and online. The digital connections to the Lebanon, with which Bouba had already worked together, were particularly valuable. From these encounters, the idea of creating a common space gradually gave rise to the “Bulaban circus” took shape. But despite all the energy and creative approaches, many things proved to be challenging, be it because of geographical distance or organizational hurdles. Finally, after five years in Berlin, Bouba made the decision to return to Lebanon in order to continue and anchor the project there.

Back in the Bekaa Valley they started to perform on the street, with life-size dolls, clowns and juggling balls. They met people who opened doors to them. During this time, Bouba met one of the founders of “Buzuruna Juzuruna”, a project in Lebanon that works for the revival of traditional seeds and combines ecological agriculture with educational and cultural work. The founder told Bouba about interweaving her vision, culture and agriculture. “I thought: that fits our dream perfectly,” Bouba recalls. The encounter laid the foundation for a close connection between the two projects, “Buzuruna Juzuruna” and the resulting “Bulaban circus”. Fertile cooperation developed from the mutual exchange that lovingly supports the circus in its orientation.

They organized small fundraising events and thus secured the first funding. Bouba remembers: »I showed a man from Tripoli a photo, a bright, colorful circus tent that I had seen in Berlin. It was the tent of ›Cabuwazi‹ that impressed me deeply and fueled my vision of my own circus. Only a short time later this idea became a reality: the tent was built in Tripoli especially for the circus, red and yellow, beautiful. I could hardly believe it. The training started there, and I saw so many talented children with very different stories from a wide variety of social and cultural backgrounds. It was a moment when dreams and reality met. ”It was a formative time for Bouba. In October 2023 she returned to Berlin.

When asked what the clowning is for you, she answers without hesitation: »It is said to keep your inner child alive. I’m curious, playful, real. My clown is like a wild being, impetuous, exuberant, loud, rebellious. But I don’t play that. It’s part of me. “

She explains that being a clown is never just a role, it always comes out of the innermost. It is often an expression of what we carry in ourselves, often exactly the shares that we cured or adapt in everyday life to fit into social patterns. “On the stage it can get out, unadorned, directly and completely free.”

But the clown is not always funny. “Sometimes the clown picture is also melancholic, sometimes even painful,” says Bouba. “But I love this anarchic aspect that the clown knows no limits.”

She laughs when she says: “Sometimes I feel clumsy or naive, and I’m proud of it. My teacher once said to me: ‘You are the greatest thing about clumsy.’ I thought it was great. ”It is not about intelligence, but about playful openness and the courage to get your clown. »The circus is not just about entertainment. It’s about life itself, about mistakes, imperfection and vulnerability. And then you laugh about it. “

The “Bulaban Circus Berlin” consists of a team of seven or eight residence clown together with Bouba. They meet regularly, rehearse and do shows together, all income flow back to the circus to keep “Bulaban” alive in both Lebanon and Berlin. So far, everything has been done on a voluntary basis. The great hope is: »If we get a grant, we could pay salaries every month in Lebanon. Then we would no longer be just in survival mode. “

Bouba continues in Berlin too: “Soon I start at› Cabuwazi ‹as an artistic director,” she says. “I am very excited and I look forward to being able to learn and implement even more. It will be a time full of new possibilities and challenges. “

The colorful team behind »Bulaban Berlin« can be experienced in various places. The next dates are on August 15th in »8KW«, Kietzer Weg 8 and on September 6th in »Holzmarkt 25«, both in Berlin-Friedrichshain. More information on Instagram at: @bulaban_circus