One of them hadn’t yet hit the other with a cricket bat.
Photo: Photo: IMAGO/Avalon.red
There is nothing more insignificant than music. It’s a complete waste of time, just a loud distraction from life. Therefore, a judgment of taste is meaningless. The only thing music is good for is to let yourself be carried into other spheres that are actually unattainable without drugs. Levels where you feel better, stronger, more invincible. And even if the music wants you to feel worse afterwards, you actually feel better. Everything is a huge scam.
In the 1990s, the best magicians were two brothers from Manchester: Liam and Noel Gallagher, children of Irish immigrants, working class, but something like that. Liam wasn’t understood in interviews because he always sounded like a miner from the Eastern Ore Mountains talking while eating. But the songs that Noel wrote and that Liam then sang were understood: big balls, fag in the mouth, the last beer is always bad, but fuck it, the ones before would never have been that good otherwise. It was men’s music that, due to the lack of alternatives, you also listened to as a woman, because it simply trumpeted the world so harshly: I don’t care, I’ll leave it like that now. The guitar at the beginning of “Cigarettes & Alcohol” (from the first and very best album “Definitely Maybe”, 1994) is exactly that: something embarrassingly stolen from T.Rex’s “Get it on”, but fuck it, it rattles you away on the way to school, first lesson in math.
The intrusive music, made by two choleric brothers who thought they were the Beatles, founded the Brit-pop that no one knows anymore. Rightly so, because what the Gallaghers sang (“she’s done it with a doctor on a helicopter”) and what they stood for (embarrassing terstosterone excess) would evaporate into nothing today because people have better identification figures. But those who still know what it felt like when you had the drums from “Live Forever” on your headphones for the first time and Liam’s indescribable voice crackled along with it, they also buy completely overpriced tickets to see two bad-tempered Englishmen, who will go on tour again in 2025, 16 years after the big brother dispute. Helter Skelter.
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