Club World Cup-if you don’t lose, it’s stupid

The worst football club in the world is without a question of the íbis Sport Club. It is by no means the TUV Azarganuud Football Club from Töw-Aimag, even if the “central stallion” have lost all nine first round games of the Mongolian Premier League and now have a goal difference of 25: 151 after 24 games. The worst went against FC from the capital Ulaanbaatar (0:21).

No, the guilders of leading footstells clearly goes to the íbis SC from the Brazilian state of Pernambuco in the northeast, which, native to Recife, in which series A2 “plays”. His nicknames are: “Black bird” or “worst team in the world” (O Pior Time do Mundo). But to be the worst club, you have to offer more than just the crown of losing. Morbidity is needed in large quantities, a smiling dose of masochism and the depressed re -seasoning of every defeat. This mixture leads to constant self -flagellation and therefore to praise the ridiculous.

The íbis SC is clearly the antithesis for FC Barcelona in Catalonia in Pernambuco. President Ozir Ramos Junior, ex -player and trainer, describes the search for his boys after the failure: “It is like an alcoholic and his Cachaça (sugar cane schnapps): He knows that it is unhealthy, but he reveres the truck.”

Can a club, which defines itself through a sacred poultry of the ancient Egypt, have a future? The Egyptians are said to have sacrificed the bird ibis so that the flys let off the dead (presumably it was a forest drain.) The íbis SC, however, lives through decay, from a rotting defense. His strikers don’t even hit a rainbow, the midfield is more immoving than the center circle. Losing is a cult with the “black bird”. Self -flagellation becomes a pleasure. Everyone can shoot goals. Only why? What matters is only to lose ambition.

The Pernambucanos won their undisputed Loser-Welkruhm, especially in the early 1980s, when they actually managed to be winless for four years. The fans were thrilled. It was lost in the tennis rhythm: 15: 0, 30: 0, 40: 0. And yet they still chewed on their 1-0 win against Ferroviário from the Black July 20, 1980. Another black day for the club was June 17, 1984: Without its own intervention, the machete FC from Recife was defeated 3-1. A dark provocation of the opponent, of course. In between there were 55 heroically winless matches that were clouded by seven draws (25: 231 goals).

The star of the team was the only center forward, Mauro Shampoo from 1980 to 1990. During this decade, the “Matador” scored a goal (his job reference). There is no photographic or cinematic evidence for this. The football scholars argue. Was that the terrible victory against Ferroviário? However, the largest clubidol still swears that the honor goal was 1: 8 against the same club. This is nowhere registered. The club president of this era insists that it was a self -gate.

Next year Mauro, who comes from the favelas, will be 70. He has 13 brothers. His father was blind. The only title he ever won was that of the hairdresser. He cuts the hair of the club’s new kickers and washes their heads above all. That is the prerequisite: understand the club. In Brazil, he is better known than Pelé, which is the price of losing.

Colored your own hair looks like a peacock subject over a kind of water pig nest. A film star has long been the spiritual leader of the defeat. Then he says things like: “Player, hairdresser and man, Mauro shampoo to their services.”

Anyone who does not celebrate defeats is not bad enough. The goals have to be cheered. There are no own anyway. Less than one year. The “Jogo Bonito” is an invention of enemy journalists. If the club accidentally “wins”, the torcedores demand: they should all run away, everyone! After all, they don’t want to become a mockery of humanity.

The mascot is called “Derrotinha” (small defeat). The club’s homepage has crashed for decades.