The Rabbi of Chabad Odessa prepares the Ketubba, marriage contract, for a wedding ceremony.
Photo: Picture Alliance/dpa/flashback 2022 | Filip Singer/EPA
Our Rebbe gives the best Ezzes.
“Rebbe, what should I do, marry or not marry or marry? Does marriage make you happy? ” -“ Marriage makes you happy. Unless you are married. “
“Rebbe, what should I do? Sometimes visiting me so strange thoughts … ” -” Nu, be glad you visit you, others are at home! ” -” Rebbe, what should I do? I have to travel to a remote village that I don’t even know where it really is … ” -” Good, but once you’ve been there, would you find your way back from there? ” -” Of course, Rebbe! ” -” Then just take this way, but go in the other direction! “
Ezzes von was
Magnus Terhorst
Alexander Estis, a freelance Jew without a permanent residence, writes so much Schmonzes in this column that the pejes grow.
“Rebbe, what should I do? I have a week for an order, I have been tireless for six days, but tomorrow is Schabbes, how should I end my work in time? ” -” For six days? Well, it hasn’t been a stabbing for six days, why should there be a stabbing at once? “
“Rebbe, what should I do? I am invited to friends and they do Sülze. But Sülze is not kosher? ” -” Of course Sülze is kosher. ” -” But how can it be, vine? ” -” Nu, Sülze consists of 100 percent ingredients! “
“Rebbe, what should I do? I have almost no friends, I am obviously not a welcome guest … ” -” Nu, you also have to be a good guest … ” -” And how does it work? ” -” You have to be undemanding. You have to do everything yourself. Even hang up the coat, get your plate yourself, put the food on the plate even … ” -” But how, Rebbe, if I am not even invited? ” -” Well, you just have to invite yourself … “
“Rebbe, what should I do? I need a completely new joke for my appearance that nobody has heard – and not even read! ” -” Take the joke with the herring on the top of the tower. ” -” With the herring on the top of the tower? How does the joke go? ” -” I don’t tell you, otherwise he is no longer new! “
“Rebbe, what should I do? I’m never lucky. Why shouldn’t the Almighty give me a little luck? ” -” The almighty should give you it? ” -” Yes, Rebbe, that should! ” -” You should have so lucky … “
“Rebbe, what should I do? I want to become a wis … ” -” Student more the Torah! ” -” Why, Rebbe, I will be wiser from the literary degree? ” -” No, but you will be tired. Those who are tired talk little. Anyone who talks little is quiet. Whoever is still appears. “
“Rebbe, what should I do? This life is just terrible. Will it be better in the future than it was bad? ” -” This is uncertain … ” -” But it will be a little more evenly than it has become surprisingly not better? ” -” This is even more insecure. ” -” Rebbe, but can it go on like this? ” -” This is also unsure. “
»OJ wej, Rebbe, what should I do? I have to die as soon as my life is over – and maybe even before! ” -” Nu, better die than never live! “
Yes, our Rebbe really gives the best ezzes – because you can’t do anything with them, but you can’t come to an end.
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