Ezzes by Estis – Hegel’s hair gel

Even if Haargel was not yet invented, Hegel would have loved it.

Photo: Claudio Pantoni/Unspash

Everyone knows that the Talmud is suitable for something dialectical. Only Hegel didn’t know that. Or he knew it, but didn’t want to admit it. Or he wanted to admit it, but couldn’t. For example because he didn’t know.

On the other hand, we don’t have to know that – and especially not we have to admit it, just as little as the following, which, according to the name, follows this, but not from this.

And this dialectic would certainly have recognized Hegel if it were one and not just a pun. On the other hand, something dialectical is also suitable for the pun, because on the one hand it means one, on the other hand the other, and because it is a word on the one hand, on the other hand a game.

But Wortwitz was not particularly interested in the Hegel, but more of the preservation.

Hegel was also reasonably vain. So Hegel wanted his hair to be ideal. He wanted to make a phenomenal impression of creating a chorus of admiration.

Ezzes von was

Magnus Terhorst

Alexander Estis, a freelance Jew without a permanent residence, writes so much Schmonzes in this column that the pejes grow.

In his time in Bern, on Tschugg, Hegel must have started. With terrific thought buildings, he did not really want to go to the idiot of philosophy; The finances also went miserably, and he knew nothing to do with the mountains. If Hegel also spoke disproportionately about the powdered pigeon wings of his colleagues, he nevertheless germinate a certain materialism in him: with the carefully neglected exterior, he wanted to give an idea of ​​the sublime depth of his inner life as an opposite prerequisite.

But how should Hegel be having his hair? Wax was too weak, pomade was expensive and the hegel was therefore too pompous, spruce resin, on the other hand, that the vial was for a few shillings was simply unsuitable.

Hegel’s hair wanted to be well -groomed; So only the gel remained. On the other hand, Haargel was not invented at the time, and Hegel knew that too. However, he also knew that achieving the goal is impossible without the means. So gel was the only reasonable means in this situation, and the reasonable, he continued, he really has to be. Hegel believed in the power of the mind – he himself undoubtedly had a mighty spirit. And only a will, a will to murder! – and an enormous imagination. He was imaginative, but at the same time it was best to teach in the differential calculation, physics, natural history, chemistry.

Hegel synthesized an essence that everyone was able to lubricate himself in the hair that everyone could put on their hair; Unfortunately, she spread a pestilential stench, so contemporaries – whom in their mindlessness alone about the physical effect, not to do the gel on and for himself – his gel scolded a head and a head spoils. “We would never have thought that from the old Hegel,” she called, although the Hegel was not yet old. But he replied: »The hair gel penetrates the hairstyle; It is the spirit of hair. You have to worship the hair gel like an earthly-divine. “

In this way, Hegel almost approached the Talmud – if he had not been stopped by his vanity, although on the other hand he might not even knew how much he almost approached the Talmud.

Either way, in the end it doesn’t get out of the same thing.

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