House sparrows are the reason for a partial construction halt at the Jahn-Sportpark, the former venue of the BFC Dynamo.
Photo: imago/MIS
Our beautiful Berlin has slipped into a sparrow farce. We all love the little birds that pluck the mosquitoes from our skin in summer and make a day beautiful with their chirping. Because the spacious area of the Jahn Sports Park is home to sparrows, blackbirds, thrushes, finches and bats, the Berlin Administrative Court recently decided to partially halt construction of the new sports facility in Prenzlauer Berg.
Once again, the Berlin Senate Department for Urban Development, Building and Housing is proving to be overwhelmed when it comes to planning and implementing a large urban construction project. The clever people of the Senate had called in the excavators without first taking care to relocate the house sparrow’s breeding grounds. This is our Berlin, this is how we know it. If you don’t succeed, you become a politician, no matter what party apron you wear. Glatze Wegner quickly won a place at the sparrow table and on the joke pages of the German newspapers.
Ballhaus East
Imago/Matthias Koch
Frank Willmann looks at the football between Leipzig, Łódź and Ljubljana.
At least we have an alien football club on board with Delay Sports, which will fight for the crown of thorns of the Cozy Wash Cup (that’s really what it’s called!) next Saturday in the hell of Hohenschönhausen (aka Sportforum) against the local kickers from BFC Dynamo. According to reports, the Marsmännchen’s game against Ost-Atzen will be sold out. An almost unknown situation, the BFC has increased its number of spectators, but the sports forum has almost never been sold out since returning from the Jahn Sports Park.
When the Moscow icy wind whistles through the crowds of spectators at the weekend and the sleet falls democratically on the heads of everyone present, we will dream melancholy of stadium roofs and similar modernist bells and whistles. According to well-informed circles, more Delayians than BFC people want to come to the stadium. Because the mass-compatible delay athletes are a footballing influencer phenomenon. Delay’s Twitch Canalettos attract young people like mosquitoes to sparrows. Among other things, you can learn from her videos how to tie your shoes and where to find the best toothbrushes in Berlin.
They have been around for three years and are loved by a million kids, cancer charities and Adidas. The world’s most famous delay Kevin (Pannewitz), as co-coach, gives the players pink cider with Westrost at halftime. This is the real secret to delay success. The goal is nothing less than world domination. Either way, Saturday will be an outstanding football experience when the servants of Cleanfluence, Finfluence, Kidfluence, Sinnfluence and Fuckfluence help the pork eaters and beer drinkers with their new model of life. It is said that a small clamp with the influencer trowel is enough to become a walking advertising body forever. Mothers, lock your little sons away! Fathers, come in your aluminum jacket when Delay Sports storms Hohenschönhausen!
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