Is that cheesy? No, one recommendation: instead of craving Bavarian Oktoberfest pretzels, bake crispy Stars of David in solidarity with Israeli peace activists.
Photo: Archive
In the beginning there was the Schmonzes. Okay, at the beginning it was actually a lot of chaos, but trying to distinguish between a lot of chaos and a joke would really be a joke. Besides, you wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference anyway with all the fuss.
So in the beginning there was the Schmonzes. Although in Schmonzes the beginning comes after the end; That’s why the Schmonzes should actually have been at the end before he started, but that didn’t matter to the Schmonzes because he never cares about what actually should have been, and especially not about what actually should have been. That’s why Schmonzes exists, even if it shouldn’t exist now nor should it ever have existed.
In the beginning there was the Schmonzes, and although the beginning of the Schmonzes comes after the end, the Schmonzes has no end. Everything comes to an end, but Schmonzes takes everything.
So in the beginning it was all just nonsense. But God created the whole world with one word, and with the whole world also the people, and with the people also the letters, and with the letters also the words. But man created Schmonzes again through his word. The history of humanity is the story of how the Schmonze changes, pours out of one cosmic vessel into another, from one brain into another, even though it has always been in this other vessel and in this other brain anyway, just like outside.
Ezzes by Estis
Magnus Terhorst
Alexander Estis, a freelance Jew without a permanent address, writes so much nonsense in this column that it will make you sick to your stomach.
Heidegger would therefore certainly have said: Schmonze was what ever already existed. But Heidegger himself was so full of schmonzes that he was unable to understand the world as permeated by schmonzes and world history as its manifestation. Then Hegel, the old head spoiler, had already gone further, because he said: “One must worship the Schmonzes as an earthly-divine thing.” Then Marx came and said that the Schmonzes was unevenly distributed, even though Freud had said this a short time later would have that the Schmonzes is in all of us and in everything we do. And he was right – even if we can’t know who!
Or look at the French: Sartre and Camus recognized the Schmonzes in the world, but because there weren’t enough Schmonzes in the world for the French, Derrida and Deleuze came. Since then there have been a lot more schmonzes in the world that shouldn’t have existed before. The ancient Greeks had already produced enough Schmonzes, not to mention the young ones – because, as we know, the young always produce more Schmonzes than the old ones, but not because the old ones are wiser, but simply because the young ones have more strength have to produce. Look at young Schmendrik, he runs around all day long, from school to the market and from the market to the shop and from the shop to the next and from the next home – and produces Schmonzes everywhere he can; while his grandfather only makes schmonzes at home on his bed because he can’t run around anymore. That’s why everyone calls him Solomon the Wise, although everyone used to call him the foolish Shloimo.
It was the same in ancient Greece. Socrates churned out schmonzes, but because he didn’t walk around much, instead sitting around in the market or even lying around at the table, they called him the wise man. Before him, the pre-Socratics had already produced enough Schmonzes, even if only in fragments, i.e. in small pieces, which, however, led to it becoming even bigger Schmonzes. And although it may sound like it, it’s almost not that illogical at all.
Because that’s how it is with schmonzes, that it only becomes bigger when you divide it up. In any case, the pre-Socratics did not manage to produce the Schmonzes at least halfway completely. But what can you expect from them, they didn’t even know that they were the pre-Socratics. Then, as I said, Socrates came along and churned out schmonzes, but was smart enough not to write it down because he knew he only knew schmonzes. Unfortunately, Plato wrote down the whole Schmonzes and also added his own Schmonzes. And then the Christians came and believed all the schmonzes, precisely because it was schmonzes – which they even openly admitted. The Enlightenment wanted to do something about it, but Schmonzes is too powerful in people.
The history of the spirit is therefore nothing other than a history of how the spirits tried to penetrate the Schmonzes, while in fact this very Schmonzes penetrated the spirits.
Our author can be seen reading and/or making music with the Trio Schlo in Berlin on September 22nd, 6 p.m. Cafe Voland (Wichertstrasse 63) as well am 30. September im Pfefferberg-Theater and on October 15 at the Anne Frank Center
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