The Moshiach will come in a Nissan, but probably not in a tin box.
Photo: imago/Depositphotos
When does Moshiach come? Nobody knows that, except perhaps the prophet Elijah. And when will the prophet Elijah come? Nobody knows that either.
So no one actually knows when Moshiach is coming. Except perhaps Moshiach himself – but unfortunately no one knows whether he knows. If he came, we could ask him, but we can hardly do that as long as he hasn’t come. And if he had already come, we wouldn’t have to ask him because then we would already know.
Ezzes by Estis
Magnus Terhorst
Alexander Estis, a freelance Jew without a permanent address, writes so much schmontz in this column that it will make you sick to your stomach.
In addition, we would certainly have better questions if Moshiach came – for example, why it actually took him so long.
Yes, that would be a question, because it would definitely be about time. Moshiach could slowly appear, that wouldn’t harm anyone. That wouldn’t harm anyone – and perhaps it would even benefit some, for example the whole world. Because then there would finally be peace there, and the world would certainly have no objection to that. But even if she had something to object to, she would not be allowed to have a say at all, and people would even less be allowed to have a say – because if people were allowed to have a say, there would be no peace. Therefore, people are only allowed to remain silent, and even then only when asked. But why should anyone ask the people when Moshiach is there?
Therefore, as I said, people will ask Moshiach. Yes, when Moshiach comes, there will be a question like the world has never experienced before:
“Moshiach, can you help Aunt Klara with her arthritis?”
“Moshiach, would you rather Knejdlech or Cholent?”
“Moshiach, once you have rebuilt the temple, can you also re-plaster our garage wall?”
»Moshiach, do we have to quarter all the resurrected ones with us now? We hardly have any space as it is, and nephew Motja is coming next week!”
“Moshiach, would you rather have latkes or tzimmes?”
“Moshiach, don’t you have a wife? Jingle shell asoj, and all alone! Do you already know our granddaughter Lija?”
“Moshiach, where did I leave my glasses?”
“Moshiach, will you eat now? If you don’t eat, you are not the true Moshiach!”
We had enough false Moshiachs. And one of them was so convincing that to this day many people still consider it to be the real one. Maybe he was actually the real one. Just not Moshiach.
There are actually clear signs as to whether it is a true or a false Moshiach. For example, if someone says that he is descended from David, and he means David the old and a bencher from opposite, then it is probably not the real Moshiach. Or if someone says that you should give him all your money to save the world, it is most likely not the real Moshiach either. And when someone drives up in an X-Trail SUV because it is said that the Moshiach is there Nissan will come, then it is almost certainly not the real Moshiach.
There are many false Moshiachs, but there is only one true one. And it will come, we don’t know when, but certainly not much later than just in time.
Moschiach – Messiah; Nebechinker – poor wretch; Asoj to the jingle shell! – Such a beautiful little boy!; Nissan – the seventh month according to the Jewish calendar (around mid-March to mid-April)
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