Talke Talks: Russian Manicure | nd-aktuell.de

It used to be said that “the Russians are coming.” Now it is said that “the Russians are still there.” Since the end of the Cold War, there have only been short episodes in the USA in which people are dissatisfied with the Russians: sometimes it was the espionage scandals, sometimes it was the election manipulation, sometimes it was the war in Ukraine. Since the Americans apparently suffer from short-term memory, Russian crimes and debts are quickly punished and atoned for. Rehabilitation doesn’t take long – the election fraud is fake news anyway, otherwise the best president wouldn’t have won.

Now the Russkis are once again celebrating a comeback in America. With the “Russian Manicure,” for example, a gel polish technique for fingernails. Everything that calls itself Russian continues to be considered Russian. And no matter whether I, a Russian native, am ashamed of my homeland: I will do this manicure until the final stage of arthritis.

After a short VPN problem phase, Russian influencers have taken back the US social networks. Child influencers rule the YouTube Kids channel, where they perform moronic and unnecessarily sexualized skits. They also can hardly open their mouths in their clips, the terrible English is probably spoken in a squeaky voice by their brainless parents in post-production.

Adult influencers, on the other hand, glorify Russian supermarkets (Tucker Carlson did a good job, although he went to a French supermarket in his intelligence-impaired Russia report) and all kinds of Russian animals rule on Instagram: from cute little Pomeranians (follow mine!) to the bear superstar Tom , which can be booked for photo shoots in the forest.

Why are the Americans so merciful towards the Russians? Are you more likely to forgive nations whose culture you find exciting? Because that’s what the Lenin-loving Gen Z generation is doing a lot right now. Tiktok is full of Russian music; Many young Americans mistakenly interpret the Soviet song “Dark is the Night” as “Dostoyevsky core” and post pseudo-intellectual emo sayings about it. Alla Pugacheva’s “Million Roz”, which my daughter also picked up and sings along in horrible Russian, is trending. I have no problem with Pugacheva. She left her homeland to protest the war; to Israel, which has now been canceled, but at least with her homosexual comedian husband, who is 28 years her junior.

You have to know: Russia is so homophobic that it prefers to live in the belief that Alla, now a grandmother in her mid-seventies, had twins with her baby husband via a surrogate mother due to the desire to have children and heterosexual love, rather than admit the truth about this liaison. Especially since Pugacheva had previously been married to a made-up, heels and leather-wearing bard. In the USA, heroines who save gay men’s careers by marrying them in homophobic societies are called “beards”.

Meanwhile, Russian influence is so strong that conservative American families are now emigrating to Russia. From now on, in the suburbs of Moscow the motto is: “The Americans are coming!” The Putin government even promised to build a migrant village for North Americans. Hopefully everyone brings their beards and manicures are taken care of.

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